Inflight Report

By The Flying Pinto

Boarding:

I’m setting up for my pre-departure drinks when I over hear a male passenger as he’s boarding tell the lead flight attendant that he is a life guard. He says to come get him if we need any help. She says, “Yeah, ok. I’ll come get you if anyone is drowning.” (I had to close the curtain to laugh. It is actually normal for medical professionals and police officers etc. to offer their services)

As I’m shutting the last of the over head bins a woman joins us last minute. We meet face to face as she realizes her seat is taken. I check her ticket, sure enough it’s her seat so I check the ticket of the guy occupying her seat. He’s in the middle seat across the way…nice try mister.
As he moves to his assigned seat he lets everyone know how disgruntled he is through the sounds and faces he’s making. We close the main cabin door on time and I complete one last walk through the cabin. This time as I walk by my friend in the middle seat he yells, “I paid for an aisle seat!”
I respond, “But, sir we don’t charge for aisle seats.”

“Oh no, I paid!”

I question myself for a minute…do we charge? Did I miss that memo? Nope, I’m sure we don’t. We charge for exit rows and bulk head seats, but not aisle. At least not yet.
A few minutes later I stand in position for the safety demo. There’s my friend, waving a piece of paper at me. This is becoming entertainment. I grab the paper and look. It says:

Request: aisle seat.

Case closed.

After takeoff:

I’m preparing for my service in first class. Changing into my inflight shoes, putting my apron on, setting up the galley etc. when my only passenger rings her call light. Hmmmm? I head out to see what she needs.

“Bloody Mary please.”

Ok, I would have been out in a moment, but I smile and say, “of course.”

When I return with her drink she is not at her seat anymore, instead she is jumping from seat to seat opening the windows and looking out for a moment before moving on to the next. She sees me and jumps back over to her seat. I offer her a meal to which she responds, “Oh yes! But, not right now…I’ll let you know when I am ready!”

It’s an hour and a half flight.

She rings her call bell about twenty minutes later. I ask if she is ready for her meal, she is. She also tells me in a very excited voice,

“I got this upgrade for $69! $69!!!! It’s only my second time up here and it was $69!!”

No kidding?

We arrive in Tucson, all passengers have deplaned. We are just waiting for a stroller to come up from the belly. Of course we’re on a minimum rest layover*, but I feel bad for the family, the kids are tired and it really shouldn’t be taking this long for the stroller.

Ten minutes later, nobody can find it. Seriously, this is embarrassing. The agent calls down and has the baggage claim area checked. Nope. No stroller.

Five minutes later the mom looks at her husband and says, “Oh! Wait a minute! We didn’t end up bringing the stroller, remember?”

*minimum rest minus fifteen minutes.

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12 comments

  1. Mark Lawrence @ 2010-09-22 10:50

    LMAO…what a lovely little post to bring a smile in the morning..I'll have to remember that – I paid for an aisle seat! I also paid to put my 3 carry ons in an overhead bin as well..ohhh..wait…wrong airline!! πŸ™‚

    Great post Sara!!!

  2. I loved this post. I could just see it playing out in my mind. Thanks for sharing. πŸ™‚

  3. Next time I'll bring a sheet with "Request: steak dinner with a nice Bordeaux. Eject the crying baby."

  4. Elise Lowerison @ 2010-09-22 17:03

    Your blog about your in-flight crowd was of great interest to me. I found your comments about your experience in first class particularly intriguing. I look forward to reading additional posts in the future. We’re in the luxury travel business and would like to invite you and your readers to checkout our innovative private jet service: http://www.flyspectrumair.com/. To cut to the chase, we are offer $3950 per-seat private jet flights between NYC and LA. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

  5. Aviatrix @ 2010-09-22 21:11

    I love this kind of post. You don't need to rant, just tell us and we understand your life so much more.

  6. FREEFLYINGMOM @ 2010-09-23 15:34

    Oh, Sara you flight attendants have all the fun!! It's a laugh a minute! Great Post.

  7. christina @ 2010-09-23 19:24

    Isn't it amazing what comes out of the passengers mouths. I love it!

    I had a passenger tell me that he was going to miss his daughters wedding because "we were late". It was 10 minutes past departure…

    Oh boy, really?

    Fun post!

  8. Jen Daiker @ 2010-09-27 13:01

    I'm a new follower! I'm a writer and have recently had this urge to write a story about a flight attendant and thought I could learn more from REAL people who really work as a flight attendant, and what better way than to read a bloggers life as a flight attendant!

    Thanks for the cute story, this is definitely going to help!

  9. Flying eBook @ 2010-09-27 13:44

    Great post, Sara!

  10. Flying Bachelorette @ 2010-09-29 14:54

    When people gripe about the lack of inflight entertainment….I really just want to tell them the airlines removed it because the passengers seemed to provide enough for everybody on their own πŸ™‚ Great post!

  11. sendaiben @ 2010-10-02 06:34

    I don't know if there is any need to be rude to someone who is offering to help.

    Lifeguards are presumably trained in CPR and first aid, and could be useful in an emergency.

  12. Got to love it! For $69.95, street trash becomes royalty, at least for 90 minutes. A fun blog.