“Please place your seats and tray tables in their locked and upright position….Thank you!”

Here’s a scenario… You’re the passenger; I’m your flight attendant. After hearing the above statement, you may have gotten a little defensive. It’s the way our relationship has been set up and I think it’s a set up for failure. Nobody likes to be told what to do, especially without knowing why.

How do you feel about flight attendants, the airlines and their rules?  Is your guard up as soon as you board?  Have we flight attendants been friendly, or do you see us as big egos on power trips?  It might not be well known but, flight attendants love people.  If you could be a fly on the wall in the interview you’d hear them say, “I love people – I love to travel!”  Everyone knows flight attendants tell you how to stow luggage, fasten seat belts, bring seat backs forward and put tray tables away. But “Why,” you ask?

The FAA (federal aviation administration) governs the entire airline industry. The multitude of rules are put in place and flight attendants must adhere to all of them. Flight attendants are the informers. The FAA does random checks rides on U.S. commercial flights. If flight attendants fail to inform any passengers of these Federal Aviation Regulations (or FARs) then the flight attendants can be fined thousands of dollars. The airline is also fined so guess who gets fined and disciplined? Let’s use the example of when you get up to go to the lav and the seat belt sign is on. Your flight attendant informs you, “sir, the seat belt sign is illuminated.” You say, “it’s an emergency.” She says, “the seat belt sign is illuminated,” sounding like a broken record. You now stare at each other like there’s a language barrier; essentially there is. If the flight attendant tells you, “ok, just be careful,” she has just given you permission to get out of your seat as long as you are “careful”.  This opens the airline up for a law suit should you get hurt because of turbulence.  What should you do if it is an emergency?  I’m still not going to give you permission but, once you’re informed you are free to make up your own mind and it’s up to you. What about all the other rules? Here’s a quick break down of the reasons behind those airline rules we love to hate:

Properly stow your luggage: All bags must be properly stowed prior to push back. It’s probably obvious why the bags in the overheads must fit properly…so the bins can close. Your smaller carry on needs to fit under the seat in front of you because the aisle must be free and clear in the case of airplane evacuation. Sound silly?  Well, let me ask you this.  Did you know that the FAA conducts scheduled drills yearly with EVERY U.S. commercial airline? Reason being, each aircraft type must be able to evacuate within a specific amount of time, this is how the FAA determines how many flight attendants are needed to make up a “minimum crew,” the amount of flight attendants required for each flight. Flight attendants can successfully evacuate a full wide body aircraft in seconds. Having bags properly stowed saves more time than most people realize.

Seat backs and tray tables forward: I once saw a skit where a comedian leans back as if sitting in an airline seat and says, “dead;” leans upright and says, “alive.” Back and forth, back and forth… “dead, alive, dead, alive…” Very funny, but for the same reason we need luggage stowed, we need your seat and tray table locked and upright. Your seat leaning back will slow down the passengers behind you; your tray table being down will slow you and other passengers from evacuating quickly.

Place your oxygen mask on yourself first: This is not only a great analogy for life, it’s also an extremely important rule for flying. Time of useful consciousness is as little as thirty seconds at 35,000 feet. If you don’t put your mask on first, you won’t be conscious to put an oxygen mask on someone else. Most likely if the cabin loses pressure, it’s not a life or death situation. Put your mask on and then place one on your child.

I hope it helps you understand why some of these regulations are in place. You may not agree with them all and that’s fine; but I hope at least there’s a better understanding as to where flight attendants are coming from. It’s entirely black and white for us when it comes to an F.A.R. With some things, we may be able to think outside the box, but not when it comes to dealing with the F.A.A. because our jobs, wallets and lives are on the line.

Does it help to know the whys? Does anything else boggle your mind when it comes to the airlines? Let me know in comments and I’ll answer them in a future post. Also, if you love Jetlagged Comics as much as I do you can order t-shirts, travel mugs and more at the Jetlagged Comic Store.